|
Keeping Time
I learned some important lessons about time last summer when my husband and I took a three month sabbatical. I found that time is more available than I have been. Time blessed me with her availability and I read more, wrote for my own pleasure, marveled at God's world, enjoyed family, and greeted each day as an opportunity for discovery. Time was all gift. She was not my enemy. She never had been.
Three months away from familiar routine and people is long enough to establish a new rhythm. If I learned anything it is that I have all the time I need to accomplish all that God has for me to do. It means I must set my goals and address responsibilities as an act of surrender not accomplishment. I learned that beauty is all around us and that we live in poverty if we are too busy to see it. I learned that if I continue to apply these lessons, I will never be too spent to appreciate what God wants me to enjoy right now. I learned that I don't need more time, I just need to apply a new rhythm to the time I have.
Keeping time,
Debbie
Are you keeping time or trying to make time?
Timing Lessons
Read Psalm 31:15, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Esther 4;14
-
Who is in charge of your time?
-
When you don't have enough time, whose time are you keeping?
-
If you do not keep time the way God wants, what could be missing?
Read Exodus 20:8, 16:31
-
What commandment addresses our time?
-
How do you protect this weekly rhythm?
-
What attitude about time do you need to address?
Praying for Beginnings
A new year mgives us a new beginning. While everything isn't new, there is enough momentum to help make a new start at something. When everything goes well in a beginning, we use it as a sign that more good will follow. When something begins badly or with great difficulty, we expect more bad to follow. That's what makes beginnings crisis points. They offer critical opportunities to pray for ourselves and our families.
My favorite scripture about beginnings is: "In the beginning God created."The scripture doesn't mean that God's creativity happens automatically. I have to pray me and my ideas out of the way first. I have to give God complete freedom to create what He knows will make a difference. I need to allow His beauty and openings and answers to take root from the beginning before I do anything to get in His way.
Pray for your children at the beginning of their day. Pray at the beginning of a project. Pray at the beginning of a friendship. Pray at the beginning of a job. Pray that you, your spouse, your child, or any other friend or family member will give God full freedom to do His best creative work from the very beginning.
Remember . . .
1. �No one understands beginnings better than God.
2. �No one can create better than God at the beginning.
3. �Help your child learn to depend on God in a beginning.
For more information about praying for beginnings, see The Praying Parent, Chapter 2 "Praying for First Times."
Are You Empowering or Enabling?
What is the difference between giving your child positive support that empowers growth and enabling? Every parent faces that dilemma. We want to help our children become the independent individuals they can be; however, it is easy to do too much and render them less capable and more dependent. The danger to over help is especially critical for parents of special-needs children. It's the emerging butterfly syndrome. If you make the process of leaving the cocoon too easy, the butterfly loses the ability to fly. Some struggle is necessary. To empower simply means to give power to. It means to help a child help himself, speak for himself, problem solve for himself. To enable means to trap a person into unnecessary dependency. How do you tell the difference?
Empowering a child for safe and realistic independence is a lifelong process. It requires a lot of trial and error, for the child and the parent. Sometimes we assume there is potential for some independent skill mastery only to find out that we pushed too hard. Other times, we neglect pushing because it is so hard to see our children struggle. One thing I have learned in this journey, when independent skills seem impossible, we celebrate every success in a big way. I remember when Lisa's arthritic hands could not turn off bath water faucet. We worked long and hard to help her become independent in this self care. And when it happened, you would have thought she won a trip to Disneyland! Empowering opens more doors than enabling. It takes more work but it gives you many more reasons to celebrate.
1. Do you let your child try doing something for him/herself before doing it for him/her?
2. Do you break complicated skills into smaller steps to ensure accomplishment?
3. Do you realistically address the�mental, emotional, and physical boundaries of your child?
4. Do you ask if your child wants help before giving unasked for help?
5. Do you find age/ ability appropriate ways to give problem-solving control to your child?
6. Do you monitor your child's frustration level to prevent losing motivation�for independence?
7. Do you refuse to use a disability as an excuse for inappropriate behavior?
8. Do you work to make your child stronger for this world instead making the world easier for your child?
9. Do you refuse to let your child whine and complain to get out of doing something difficult?
10.Do you want your child to function as independently as is safe and reasonable?
If you answered yes or wanted to answer yes to these questions, you are on your way to becoming an empowering parent. Keep it up!
|
